Tuesday, March 31, 2009

MY SHYARI

1.EHSAAS BAHUT HOGA JAB CHOR KE JAYENGE ROENGE BAHUT MAGAR AANSOO NAHI AAYENGEJAB SAATH KOI NA DE TOW AWAAZ HAME DENA AASMA PAR HONGE TOW BHI LAUT KA AAYENGE

2.AANKHO MEIN TERA AKS UTAAR LENGE KHUSI TUJHKO DEKE GAM UDHAAR LENGE TERE JAANE KE BAAD JAB AAYEGI TERI YAAD TERE KHAYALO MEIN HI WAQT GUJAAR LENGE


3.KABHI PATJHAD MEIN BAHAR AATI HAI KABHI BAHAR MEIN BHI PHOOL NAHI KHILTE KISI KI LAASH PAR BANTA HAI TAJMAHAL KISI KI LAASH KO KAFAN NAHI MILTE


4.WAQT TOW HAME BHULA CHUKA HAI KAHI MUQADDAR BHI NA BHJULA DE PYAAR HUM ISLIYE NAHI KARTE KYUNKI DARTE HAIN KOI PHIR SE NA RULA DE


5.ULFAT MEIN KABHI YE HAAL HOTA HAI AANKHEN HANSTI HAI MAGAR DIL ROTA HAI MAANTE HAI JISE HUM MANZIL APNI HUMSAFAR USKA KOI AUR HOTA HAI


6.CHIRAGO SE ANDHERE DOOR HO JAATE TO CHAAND KI CHAHAT HAME NAHI HOTI AGAR KAT SAKTI YE ZINDAGI AKELE TOW HAME AAPKI ZARURAT NAHI HOTI


7.HANSI NE LABO PE THIDAKNA CHHOD DIYA HAI KHWABO NE PALKO PE AANA CHHOD DIYA HAI AATI NAHI AB TOW HICHKIYA BHI SHAYAD AAPNE BHI YAAD KARNA CHHOD DIYA HAI


8.UTRE JO ZINDAGI TERI GEHRAIYO MEIN HUM MEHFIL MEIN RAHKAR BHI RAHE TANHAIYO MEIN HUM DEEWANGI NAHI TOW AUR KYA KAHE INSAAN DHOONDHTE RAHE PARCHAYION MEIN HUM


9.SAWAAL PANI KA NAHI PYAAS KA HAI SAWAAL MAUT KA NAHI SAANS KA HAI PYAAR TOW BAHUT HAI DUNIYA MEIN LEKIN SAWAAL PYAAR KA NAHI VISHWAAS KA HAI


10.JAWANI KO ZINDAGI KA NIKHAAR KAHTE HAI PATJHAD KO CHAMAN KA MAJDHAR KAHTE HAI AJEEB CHALAN HAI DUNIYA KA YAARO EK DHOKHA HAI JISE HUM SAB PYAAR KAH

April Fools SMS and Text Messages

Well everybody is aware of upcoming 1st April, many of you would be handy with April fools pranks, April fools jokes / trick and several other practical jokes ideas for April fools day.Here in this section we have a great collection of sms tricks / pranks / jokes suitable for April fools day. peoples search for April fools sms jokes & text messages in variety of ways by using some keywords like below:-
April fools pranks, April fools jokes, April fools pranks, April fools day jokes, best April fools pranks, April fools day pranks, April fools tricks, April fool day pranks, April fools joke, funny April fool joke, great April fools jokes, top April fools day pranks, practical joke ideas for April fools.
So enjoy sharing these April fools sms jokes / text messages with your friends, family and loved ones.
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I am your girlfriend is ….I am your girlfriend:Smart.Intelligent.Sweet.Talented.Excllent.Romantic.
theek kaha na ?
In short I am your S.I.S.T.E.R. :p
Happy april fools day
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U r 1 of d most cute persons in d worldYou are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!Just a second, don’t misunderstand.CUTE means:CreatingUselessTroublesEverywhere..
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99/100 idiots would try it.Fact1: You can not touchyour lower lip with your tounge…
Fact2: After reading this,99/100 idiots would try it.
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YOU ARE REALLY BITCHU are a BITCH
BeautifulIntelligentTalentedCuteHilarious
r u smiling now????*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*
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Plz call me, its urgentPlz call me,its urgent.Ek accident ho gaya hai......Aap ka hi blood group chahiye,Plz mana mat karna..Warna..GADHA mar jayega

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How dare they fool youIf today any 1 talks & praises u 4 ur1) gud looks2 ) nature3 ) style4 ) attitude,kick them off.How dare they fool u before april 1st.
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1st Fool Of 2009
Am Going To U.S.A....Dont Worry The Flight Is After 4 Days...Surprised????After 80 Days it’s 1st April,U r 1st Fool Of 2009
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Men Are Hard To Please Love Humor and Jokes

Click here to Join Group...

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't , he says u are PROUD .

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If u DRESS Nicely , he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't , he says u are from VILLAGE .

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If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;

If u keep QUIET , he says u have no BRAINS .

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If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT .

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If u don't L ove him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

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If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do !! He says u are CHEAP.

*******

If u tell him your PROBLEM , he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't , he says that u don't TRUST him.

*******

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

*******

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

*******

If u SMOKE , u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

*******

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK ;

If he does WELL , it's BRAINS.

*******

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!!!!!

*******

The Fork Love Good Reading

Click here to Join Group...

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order", she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.

"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.

"This is very important," the woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The pastor didn't know what to say. "That surprises you, doesn't it?" the woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.

The woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork'.

It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming... Like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance. So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder, 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them : "Keep your fork...the best is yet to come".

The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman the last time he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing, her favorite Bible and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman about what it symbolized to her.

The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.

So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, oh so gently, that the best is yet to come.


I Have More Good Stories for U !-) ( click on the links below )
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Prayed Love Daily SMS

Click here to join this group

I dropped a coin in sea and prayed for a smart & intelligent freind.
Then God gifted me you and said..... .........
ITNE PAISE ME TO YAHI MILEGA.... :)
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Boy & Girl in restaurant :Boy:-I Love u Girl:-I dont Love u Boy:- Think again? Girl:-I told u. No no & no Boy:-Ok!!! Waiter,bring seperate bills.
Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too........
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In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item @ 12.75 n sell @15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
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A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking,
But a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
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I ve some doubts

I've some doubts.. Love Humor & Jokes?

I've some doubts.. Can u please clarify me..

1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)

5. Why do people say, "you've been working like adog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I think they meant something else)

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by oneseyes)

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stayand watch)

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oilis made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

11. What should one call a male ladybird? (Nocomments)

12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they rememberthat they forgot? (can somebody help )

13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)

15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

17. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

19. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars?

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MOUSE TRAP STORY

MOUSE TRAP STORY Love Good Reading?
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

What food might this contain? The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning : There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. " "I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The pig sympathized, but said, I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. "Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose." So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.

So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

SEND THIS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HELPED YOU OUT AND LET THEM KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE.

REMEMBER,,,, EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.

Monday, March 30, 2009

What is B.E ? Joke funny SMS

8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get,
The Degree finally we get is BE
That is Brain Empty (B.E)
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God created men first,
Cause he always makes a rough draft before a masterpiece!
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When I was younger I hated going to weddings.
It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,"You are next".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. [:))]
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"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully", The divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very nice, your honour", the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself".

PRICELESS WORDS MUST READ STORY

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.

Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral : Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00Broken crockery - $ 800.00Breakfast - $ 10.00Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

Ten ways to Stop telemarketing Calls

Ten ways to stop those credit card sales, mobile companies, insurance calls from irritating you:
1 After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2 Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3 Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4 Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5 Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6 Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.... Louder... Louder... Louder!
7 If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems.... ........."
8 Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
9 Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
10 Tell the ICICI call centre guy to call on your office number - and give him the HSBC call centre number.

Tez hava ka jhonka Hindi Joke Funny SMS

Tez hava ka jhonka ayaSath me teri khushbu layaTab mere dil me khayal ayaMera dost aaj bhi nahin Nahaya
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Baap bete se "tumhe kesi biwi chahiye" ? Beta : mujhe chand jesi biwi chahiye jo raat ko aaye Aur subha chalijaye
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Mohabbat jab pehli baar ho jaye to bholapan hai Dusri baar hojaye to aapnapan haiTisri baar hojaye to dewanapan haiPhirbhi baaz na aao to kaminapan hai
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Apne roop par itna ghuroor na kar,Sab 2 din ki masti hai,Tera husn bhi tab tak qayam hai,Jab tak..............Fair & Lovely sasti hai.
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Boy and Tree A good Story

There was one time a very young boy, who used to spend time playing by a tree.

One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!"

The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches."

The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree.

When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused.

"My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing."

The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing.

Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade.

As he got older, and moved on to college, times became harder on him and he ran short of food, so he went back to the tree which he had stopped visiting for a long time.

The tree recognised him immediately and welcomed him, but he was hungry and complained to the tree, "I don't have any food to eat, my stomach is cringing with hunger."

So the tree said, "Pull down my branches and take off the fruit, and fill yourself up."

The young guy didn't even hesitate, but jumped up and tore off one of the smaller branches and ate to his fill.

Over the weeks, he tore off all the branches and ate all the fruit.

After the fruits had all gone, he went away and didn't come back to the tree.

When he reached his middle ages, he came back to the tree and said to it, "I have been very successful in life.

I have earned a lot of money, I have a huge house and I have found a great wife.

Now I want to travel and see the world."

The tree was now very old, but to help its long time companion, it didn't wait, and said, "Bring a saw, cut off my trunk and make a boat. Then you will see the wonders of the world."

So again, without hesitation the man cut down the tree.

The same tree which he had played on, ate its fruit, laid in its shade; he cut it down and made a boat.

As soon as it was finished, he sailed away and wasn't seen by his people again.

One day, an old man, walked past the tree.

It hadnt recovered from the time he had cut it down. He went up to the tree, but didn't say anything.

He felt the tears coming down from his eyes.

This time the tree spoke in a faint voice, "I'm sorry. I don't have a trunk for you to climb, nor fruit for you to eat, nor branches of shade for you to lie in. All I have now are my deep roots."

The old man whispered, "That's fine. Tree roots are the best place to lie down, snuggle up and sleep after a long life."

The tree symbolizes our parents, and the boy symbolizes us.

The moral of the story is that we make use of our parents like tissue, and use them all up, and don't even give thanks, but they stay with us till the very end.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

WOMAN'S WORLD HUMOR

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.



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WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."



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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.



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MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?



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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposi ts a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers;

Cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)



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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

**********

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

**********

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !



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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

Should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee ."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"



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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM . " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

**********

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .

********** SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

**********


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Never Argue With Kids Funny Reading

Never Argue With Kids Funny Reading

My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

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On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

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A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother."I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture." Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.""Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?"A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet aren't empty."

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all You want. God is watching the apples!"

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A kindergarden teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them.
"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on !"Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"

The Barnyard Duck A good Story

A flock of wild ducks were flying in formation, heading south for the winter. They formed a beautiful V in the sky, and were admired by everyone who saw them from below. One day, Wally, one of the wild ducks in the formation, spotted something on the ground that caught his eye. It was a barnyard with a flock of tame ducks who lived on the farm.



They were waddling around on the ground, quacking merrily and eating corn that was thrown on the ground for them every day. Wally liked what he saw. "It sure would be nice to have some of that corn," he thought to himself. "And all this flying is very tiring. I'd like to just waddle around for a while."

So after thinking it over a while, Wally left the formation of wild ducks, made a sharp dive to the left, and headed for the barnyard. He landed among the tame ducks, and began to waddle around and quack merrily. He also started eating corn. The formation of wild ducks continued their journey South, but Wally didn't care. "I'll rejoin them when they come back North in a few months, he said to himself.

Several months went by and sure enough, Wally looked up and spotted the flock of wild ducks in formation, heading north. They looked beautiful up there. And Wally was tired of the barnyard. It was muddy and everywhere he waddled, nothing but duck doo. "It's time to leave," said Wally.



So Wally flapped his wings furiously and tried to get airborne. But he had gained some weight from all his corn-eating, and he hadn't exercised his wings much either. He finally got off the ground, but he was flying too low and slammed into the side of the barn.



He fell to the ground with a thud and said to himself, "Oh, well, I'll just wait until they fly south in a few months. Then I'll rejoin them and become a wild duck again."

But when the flock flew overhead once more, Wally again tried to lift himself out of the barnyard. He simply didn't have the strength. Every winter and every spring, he saw his wild duck friends flying overhead, and they would call out to him.



But his attempts to leave were all in vain. Eventually Wally no longer paid any attention to the wild ducks flying overhead. He hardly even noticed them. He had, after all, become a barnyard duck.



Look what happened to Wally. He thought he would just "check-it-out" for awhile and then leave when he wanted to. But he couldn't do it. Sin and bad habits are like that. It is a trap, and it has a way of changing us into people we don't even want to become. Eventually we lose touch with who we really are . We become barnyard ducks.

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I have more stories for U. ( click on the links below )

Wolves A Story

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice... "Let me tell you a story."

"I too, at times, have felt great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times. "

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"But...the other wolf... Ah! The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing."

"Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather ?"

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

Chand Hindi Romantic SMS

Na gujarna eid ke din kisi majid ke samne seKahi log chand samaj kar roja na tod de
Hokar khafa kudha tumse kahiChand jaisa chera banana na chhod de...
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BADI MUDDAT SE CHAHA HAI TUJHEBADI DUAON SE PAYA HAI TUJHE.
TUJHE BHULANE KI SOCHU BHI TO KAISEKISMAT KI LAKIRON SE CHURAYA HAI TUJHE.
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HAR RAAT KE CHAND PE HAI NOOR AAPSEHAR SUBHA KI OS KO GUROOR AAPSE.
HUM KAHE TO KAISE KAHEAYE JAAN HUM MAR JAYENGE REHKAR DOOR AAPSE
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Humne socha shayad sirf hum chahate hai aapko, Par aapko chahne walon ka to kafila nikla.
Dil ne kaha shikayat kare khuda se,Par woh bhi aapko chahne wala nikla...
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Democratic differences Joke and funny SMS

Democratic differences between USA & India:
In USA you can kiss in public places but cannot shit,In India you can shit in public places but cannot kiss!
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I'm not going back to school ever again
Why ever not?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
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Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!
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A software engineer was smoking.
A lady standing nearby said to him "can't you see the Warning, Smoking is injurious to health..!'.
He replied "We are bothered only about Errors , not Warnings !!"